A Call

Attn:Dear,

On behalf of the''Boards of Committee''where i got your contact, I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter was returned undelivered. Dear beloved one,I do recognized the surprise this letter will bring to you.I am Mrs.Anna Zima, from Angola but married to Mr. Zima Philippe who is an Oil Consultant/Contractor with the Ivory Coast National Petroleum Corporation for nine years before his death on 13TH January 2010.

We were married for sixteen years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only two weeks. Before his death we were both faithful couples. Since his death I decided not to re-mary or get a child outside my matrimonial home. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $1.2 million dollars (One Million Two Hundred Thousand Dollars) in one of the banks here.

Recently,my Doctor told me that I have serious sickness which is Hepatocellular (Liver) Cancer, the one that disturbs me most are my legs which are paralyzed. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a any organization or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want an Individual that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, children on the street for donation. I want you to understand that Blessed is the hand that gives.

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives have seized all my husband investment due to that i don't have a child and I don't want my husband efforts to be used by the vultures. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of almighty. Thou wariest only him who followeth the reminder and fearieth the beneficent in secret to him bear tiding of forgives and a rich reward, I want you to always pray for me.

Please always be prayerful all through your life, any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as i stated herein. Hoping to read from you.

Warmest Regards,
Mrs.Anna

" FINAL NOTIFICATION "

SWISS LOTTO,
Office Address:
Hoofdstraat, 754-756,
2202GB, Noordwijk, Nederland.
https://www.swisslotto.ch


           
   CONGRATULATIONS!!!.....YOU HAVE WON 750,000.00 EURO

You have been awarded 750,000.00 euros (SEVEN HUNDRED & FIFTY THOUSAND EUROS ONLY) in the SWISS-LOTTO Satellite Software email lottery in which mail addresses are picked randomly by Software powered by the internet through the worldwide website.

You can log on to our website for more information concerning our Entire lotto promo https://www.swisslotto.ch

Your email address, attached to: REFERENCE NUMBERS: (27)(51)(74)(11)(32)  SERIAL NUMBERS: (79)(22)(09) DREW THE LUCKY NUMBER: (10) and consequently won the lottery in the "A" Category. You have therefore been approved a lump sum pay out of (750,000.00) Euros (SEVEN HUNDRED & FIFTY THOUSAND EUROS ONLY)

For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning details confidential till your claims is processed and your winning prize remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to Claim your prize.

This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some unscrupulous elements


To file for your claim, please contact our fiduciary agent:


Mr. Robert Van Boomel
Tel:  +31-644-658-717
Fax:  +31-847-205-416
Email: swisslottoclaimsagent@aol.nl
Fiduciary Agent.


You are to provide your fiduciary agent these details as stated below for the processing of your winning cash prize:

1. Full Name:
2. Address:
3. Marital Status:
4. Age:
5. Sex:
6. Nationality:
7. Country of Residence:
8. Occupation:
9. Telephone Number:
10. Fax Number:
11. Draw Lucky Number:
12: Reference Number:
13: Serial Number



These details facilitate the due process and the release of winnings and to avoid unnecessary delays and complications in the processing of your winnings prize.

Always remember to quote your Reference/serial Numbers in any Correspondences email with your fiduciary agent.

Congratulations once again from all members and staff of this program and thank you for being part of our online email promotion program.


Sincerely,
Mrs. Edwin De Jong
Program Co-ordinator
SWISS LOTTO,
Office Address:
Hoofdstraat, 754-756,
2202GB, Noordwijk, Nederland.
https://www.swisslotto.ch


PROGRAM WARNING: FRAUDULENT EMAILS ARE CIRCULATING THAT APPEARS TO BE IMPERSONATOR USING OUR NAMES AND ADDRESSES, BUT THEY ARE NOT FROM THE SWISS LOTTERY ONLINE EMAIL PROGRAM, PLEASE IMMEDIATELY CONTACT YOUR FIDUCIARY AGENT.

BE

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Izazov
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Damir Ostojić
Sales manager

Business exchange ltd. I Marsovog polja 10,
52100 Pula, Croatia
T: +385 52 535744

Dama u nevolji

Dama šeta gradom i nađe se pred Tiffanyevoj prodavaonici. Uđe i počne razgledavati. 

Posebno joj se dopala jedna narukvica. Sagnula se da je bolje vidi, i kako se sagnula, tako je prdnula.
Unezverena od neugode, pogleda oko sebe i utvrdi da joj se ostvarila najgora noćna mora: prodavač je stajao tik iza nje. 

No, profesionalan kakvi već jesu prodavaći Tiffanya, ničim nije odavao da je svjestan daminog "malog incidenta".

Crveneći, ali još uvijek nadajući se da prodavač nije primjetio što joj se dogodilo, dama upita:
- Koliko košta ova narukvica, posebno je lijepa.

- Poštovana gospođo, ako ste prdnuli od samog pogleda na nju, usrat ćete se ako vam kažem koliko košta,

mrtav hladan odgovori joj prodavač.

No Speakah De English

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:


Emma come first. Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.


The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig, she retorted indignantly!  In this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives!"

"Hey, coola down lady, said the man. Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '!"

$ 5.00 says you're gonna read this again!

Proslijedi

Zaustavi policajac vozača, te mu kaže:
- Jel’ znate da ne smijete psa voziti na prednjem sjedalu?
- Ali to je plišani pas! – odgovara vozač.
- Pasmina nije bitna.


Situacija u sudnici:
Zašto ste ubili svoju prvu ženu?
Prestala je da me voli.
A kad ste odslužili kaznu ponovo ste se oženili, i zašto ste ubili svoju drugu ženu?
Prestao sam ja nju da volim.
Pa dobro, kad ste izašli iz zatvora ponovo ste se oženili, zašto ste ubili svoju treću ženu?
Jebiga, navika…

Otišao Mujo u dućan i reče:
"1kg limuna molim."
"Hoćete li vrećicu?"
"Jok, šutat ću ga nogama do kuće."

Zašto plavuša nosi suknju na cvjetiće?
Kad prdne, da zamiriše! :)


Idu tri pandura i pričaju.
- Kaže prvi: Ej, ljudi, čuo sam da će u septembru da bude 40 stupnjeva.
- Na to će drugi: Ma kakvi, ja sam čuo da će da pada snjeg.
- Treći razmišlja sam za sebe pa kaže: Jebem mu mater, ko će da čisti snjeg na 40 stupnjeva?